Why twin towers were demolished...

Elections being round the corner, the dhoti-clad babus of Mumbai after a hectic tumbakoo chewing, paan spitting, mud slinging session decided to be constructive & implement their ideas of turning Mumbai into Shanghai..

Advertisements were published in all trailing newspapers & candidates were interviewed. Sweepers & cleaners, being the only literates in the cabinet, were the interviewers. After much deliberations, only one resume was shortlisted & it was of Mr.Hosama-Been-Loadin.

Hosama was allocated a posh flat in a famed locale in the city. His first task was to survey the city to identify places to be demolished for reconstruction. His idea of surveying the city in the state chopper did not materialise as it had been assigned to get daily fresh vegetables for the state CM from his native place!

Business giant Mr. More-cash Humbani heard of this plight & offered Hosama a eco-friendly cycle since his jets & cars were busy ferrying celebrities who were facing serious limelight issues!!!

With no other option left, Hosama circled the town on his tri-cycle for a couple of months & submitted his plan to demolish the slums of Dhaarabi...

The final outcome after the red tape procedures meant something like this:

Of the total, following cant be demolished as...
50% - Reserved for scheduled category
20% - Owned by Ruling party
15%- Owned by Opposition party
13% - Owned by Land mafia
1.5% - Legal Slums

which meant that only 0.5% could be actually demolished!!!

Even this miniscule figure could not dent Hosama, with soaring hopes & expectations, he reached the "site" of demolision...the only thing existing there was a stagnating Nalla & the house in which he had been staying since his appointment to the post !!!Frustration creeped in & thats when he decided to take things in his own hands, left India, planned further & demolished the twin towers!!!

Thanx for thinking of taking your time out to read a novice's (yup... me :-) ) attempt at writing something which I felt was worthwhile.

The inspiration for this daredevilry comes from my chums Jack & Prash (Double trouble, as I call them).

Living on the central side of my small infinite world..Mumbai or to be more precise Dombivili, Thane & working in its heart, Andheri, leads to a marathon travelling effort to reach office. This daily marathon of mine composes of a small walk, an auto, couple of trains, a bus & on some generous day, a bike too & contributes to around 4hrs/day!

Train is said to be the the lifeline of Mumbai. Only thing I am not able to comprehend is what an outsider would feel of a Mumbaikar's feeble efforts & planning to safeguard their dear life once they get onto their source platform.

Platform or in Mumbaiiya terms "station" is an absolutely interesting place to be in, especially in the peak time! I believe station is one of the major hotspots in Mumbai attracting more people than a Mall/Beach! One may disagree but this is the view I have been holding since sometime.

Being an optimistic, I end up seeing the better side of things. Lets take our stations, I think its one's best bet to scare off relatives who have plans to settle in Mumbai. Ideal destination for such heroics would be locations like Borivli platform. Take them there & start accepting bets on the odds of their being able to get inside the compartment in single-piece, then may be odds on their surviving the ordeal & then remind them that they need to do the same thing in the evening to get back home. Adding that, for first time travellers, the Odds are stacked in favour for the person not able to even make it to the compartment in single piece, would definitely help you reach your goal easily.

Mentioning that you have purchased your flats by holding similar "bets" for earlier guests with similar "mumbai-settling" plan would also get you some brownie points!

Apart from scaring off relatives..stations can also help you impress them with the beauty of the city, Bandra/Vileparle/Churchgate/Andheri bear the testimonial to the same.No, No, not the station itself, I am reffering only to the hip crowd that assembles on this platforms!

Coming back...to the lifeline angle. My height is just above 5ft 4inches, meaning that in the morning train, its impossible for me to reach anything which closely resembles a trains anatomy. On most days, some body part of mine ends up getting entagled to someone's bag, belt, etc & I get sucked in with them!!

The time I usually get into the train is around 8:15-8:25. I had tried several days to get into the trains a bit earlier...but after several trial & errors, I have come to conclude that this is the best time for me to ensure my life doesn't end on the line! Second important aspect being the train arriving on the same platform as it was supposed to be, which most daily commuters agree is in itself a great relief!

Else, we usually end up running to & fro between platforms, taking wild guesses as to which platform would the driver take fancy to, on that particular day. Some people also associate such changes to the whims & fancies of the announcer.

Anyways I think the train is arriving as I can sense the excitement levels increasing, also the person behind me has started poking me with everything he has got today...newspaper & his tiffin for instance.

Do leave your feedback...as that would be instrumental to help me decide whether to get into the train to narrate my further experiences....