The tale of two hospitals- Part I

As luck would have it, I had to visit a couple of Hospitals in the last 2 weeks. First visit was to what we term as “municipality” hospital to meet a person working in my neighbor’s office. It served as students’ study expeditions too.

The first thing that you see is the paan stains visible everywhere right from the hospital name-board, corridors, windows, to the smiling “kaka” manning the floor. With neither a reception nor any person to guide task of finding the patient was easy as finding a needle in hay stack!

The fruits, that I had carried, were immediately discarded by the nurse as the diet out there included vadapavs & not fruits! Last seen, the food was deliciously devoured by a guy couple of beds aside.

Patient whom I met was explaining his daily routine. His day started with a few students from nearby medical colleges coming with sticks and poking him to death. Next would be stretching his mouth, pulling out his tongue & then stuffing his mouth with a thermometer. These antics would guarantee that his BP did shoot up when they checked it next! If not, then the next trick of knocking out his kneecap with their ‘hammers’ definitely guaranteed it!

Last act was to check the X-rays and scanning reports. They same reports, I am sure, must have served as reference to many students as all that was left of that report was a gaping hole!

A passing look at the ICU confirmed that it was nothing less than shopping market with doctors, nurses, relatives, patients and some old discarded equipments jostling for space!

After this saintly experience, I was sure that patients getting their treatments in the luxury hospitals would have been blessed…But unfortunately that is not the case….

(...To be continued)

A Nightmare...

Darkness enveloped the entire scenario visible from the bedroom. It was more than 3 hours but there were no signs of electricity being restored. Rain was still pouring hard. Water level, already above three feet, was rising with each passing moment.

I & Uncle were stuck in the deserted building, plainly unaware of what to do next.

Phones were incessantly ringing with brothers telling me to evacuate the house as quickly as possible. I could not leave the place without my Uncle, who just did not agree to join me. I picked some cash and emergency items from the Hall and started packing them, hoping that some sense would prevail & he would agree.

My uncle suddenly rushed in from the bedroom and started urging me to move out. Before his mind changed, I quickly collected the packed items and moved out of the house. I was about to lock the door, when uncle remembered that he had left something back in the bedroom.

I went rushing in to retrieve it but was stopped by a small black object on the bed, on which I usually sleep.

I went near the object and turned it around. To my utter horror, what lay in front of me was badly mutilated dead body of my uncle. Screaming with fear, I looked above to see the time in over-head clock..… it was 3:30AM.

Perspiring, I got up from my sleep & got hold of my cell phone...Time in it was exactly 3:30AM!

Giving it up...

Most of my past posts have been attempts at humour. However the events in my life over the past few months have turned my attention towards the idea of "giving it up".

Giving it up & Giving up is as different as chalk and cheese. The latter is somewhere similar to accepting your defeat whereas former would indicate a form of sacrifice.

Life many a times makes us stand at crossroads and offers choices which can either hurt us by providing happiness to others or vice-a-versa. Most of the times in such situations we tend to take the first option when our loved ones are in consideration. Relationships which are very close to our heart have to be just given up and there is nothing that can be done except finding solace in the reasoning that we offer ourselves that its for the greater good.

Sometimes looking back at those decisions do we realise that there were alternatives. Alas! which we did not visualize then, which if taken, could have led to an entire different course of things. How often is that we repent on our decisions, our lack of foresight, our sacrifices but still just bear it and move on.

Time is said to be great healer which coupled with the human ability of moving on just eases the pain of the love, the care, the promise, the dreams, the future which we gave up.

Love is the most demanding relationships in any living world. It often presents such crossroads and whatever decision one takes, it just ends up in hurting oneself however vital the greater good is.

Most of us have undergone such experiences. You could just put some of those experiences in the comments. Lets understand how vivid the circumstances, how painful the experiences and how the sense of hope for something better prevails in our hearts...

Come together...

A few lines, I penned after the gruesome attack on our beloved Mumbai, orchestrated by the blood thirsty terrorists, was brought to an end, by our brave soldiers.....

My heart goes out to each & every individual, who had to face the wrath of that cowardly act...May God be with you.....

Strictly Un-Olympic...

The hoopala over the single Olympics gold medal we won just makes me wonder (I know I am joining the millions of exisitng similar minded ‘experts’) the reasons for us not winning the much coveted medals. May be Olympics does not have the right sports or as we say, it’s not tailored to suit us Indians.

So other than the slim chances T20’s inclusion in Olympics, what are the areas where in we have our so-called expertise? Raking my brains, I have come up with an event list which will never be included in Olympics! But what the heck, you guys can still read it:

(S)potholes: This event would compose of a 1Km ride with the road stretch full of something that the drivers in Mumbaikars adore & worship: Potholes. Participants have to spot the potholes & reach the finish line in one-single unharmed piece! Not expecting much are we?? This event would be conducted at night with no lights & slight rain. Events can include both bikes & cars. Anybody traveling in Mumbai/Thane/Pune etc can apply! I am sure we can downright win all possible medals in this event!

Pain Paan: Modeled on events like Javelin throw. Contestants will be given 2 mins in which they will have to prepare, eat & spit paan. Longest distance wins! Should be an easy sport for us!! Japan, china, US, wot say???

Merry Mirrors: Drivers would have to drive their vehicles in adverse traffic conditions for two kms. Only condition being, No mirrors allowed i.e. neither rear view nor side view mirrors! Our own Mumbaiiya cabbies would represent India in this... Guys who have had a taxi ride in Mumbai will vouch for the fact that these guys can drive in any environment, be it rains, traffic, night & any speed, without any thing bearing even remote resemblance to mirrors!

Spectacular Stunts: Focus of this event would be on unbelievable, unforeseen stunts performed live before the Olympic audience. Students from our very own institutes like Mithunda Institute of Special effects, Rajnikant Anti-Gravity Institute, etc would be our best bet! Damn let me see any one beat them in this event!

If we fail to get our medals inspite of this, then our own Mallus & Kolkattians can stop the entire events by organising a lighting quick Bandh or Strike..Yipeeeee! Give us medals or the Olympic choollha will never burn....Hail Strikes!!!!

Its said that "A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words". With that in mind & some 'inspiration', I have created my first "Cartoon" strip based on a doubt that I have been nurturing about the great Indian Mythology, from my childhood days! Comments, as usual, are welcome!!!

SPL - Sholay Premier League

IPL craze being so high, I just wondered what would have happened if Thakur & Gabbar, the evergreen & great stalwarts from the epic movie Sholay decided to cross their paths on the cricket pitch & that too on their own terms!

Read on to find how I feel the epic encounter would have shaped up....

Gabbar's dacoits were tired of being constantly pestered by Thakur's henchmen (Jai & Veeru).
After lot of bloodshed, both Thakur & gabbar decided to settle the scores by having a cricket match. The stakes were high as the one losing would have to do a non-compromise surrender to the winner!!

Place & day was decided quickly but the only thing left unattended was the appointment of umpires.

Vary of the bad blood between the two sides, no one was willing to act as an umpire.

Atlast it was decided that each team would have its own umpire & decision will be based on what they SEE & the LIFTING of index finger would be the only indication that the batsmen was out!!

The training session was full on @Gabbar11 hideouts with Samba doing the aerial survey of the team, sixes earned "shabashki" whereas no balls got you a desi version of Russian Roulette (yeah yeah...same kitne aadmi the wala game) from the captain Gabbar!!

Where as Thakur knew that his bunch of lazy bums would not be able win this high octance game with their non-existent cricketing skills. Instead of practising hard, he sat down with coach Ramlaal & strategist Radha to devise what as per them was a simple strategy!!

On the D-day, both teams gathered in the watertank ground. Spectators were in fulll attendance.

At the toss, Jai used his "special" coin, resulting in Thakur11 winning & inviting Gabbar11 to make first use of the freshly laid pitch!!

Nobody was surprised by this move as they knew Thakur's preference to chase!!!

Gabbar & Soorma Bhopali opened the innings for Gabbar11 & vice captain Veeru of Thakur11 was ready from the Shivmandir end to start the day's proceeedings.

Basanti & her aunty led the cheerleaders, who vociferously cheered each wicket that fell whereas Angrezo ko zamaane ke jailer, Asrani, led the commentary team!

Match proceeded with Gabbar11 team slaying fledgling bowlers of Thakur11 to post a healthy 350 before being bowled out!

After the innings break, a beaming Gabbar led his team back on the field, fully aware that Thakur's team would once again falter in such a big chase!

But his smile was replaced by a look of shock & horror as openers from Thakur11 came in, preceeded by "Umpires" Thakur & Imam (Shri A K Hangal) !!!!